A few years ago, when I was in a coaching session for myself, the coach said something that really changed how I view myself and, as a result, those around me.
The session was held online, and I sat in front of my (many!) bookshelves. They make me feel safe and give me a sense that I am being surrounded by goodness and kindred souls.
There was a moment of silent reflection.
After a while my therapist said to me “Have you ever seen yourself as a book? You know, just as all those books around you, you have many chapters. What you are currently facing is just one part of your life.”
And that shifted something profoundly in me.
Ever since, I have seen myself as well as my clients as stories unfolding.
Stories with many characters and chapters.
🌸 Where my clients see a lack of willpower, I see the tired dieter and restricter.
🌸 Where they don’t understand why they are still craving food after eating a whole bunch of low-fat snacks, I see the child who is feeling betrayed and deprived.
🌸 Where they condemn themselves because of their binge eating, I see a teenager’s rage and frustration of continuously pushed away emotions.
Those characters and voices are here for a reason. They desperately want to be heard and seen for who they are: parts of ourselves that have been feeling overwhelmed for too long, trying to cope with life. And so we turn to food as the remedy; sometimes through binge eating, sometimes through condtant grazing, sometimes through the exhausting cycle of restricting and starting over.
Once we get to understand those characters, we see our story in a different light.
We can approach them with curiosity and understanding, rather than harsh judgement.
We can befriend them.
And from there, a whole new story begins!
If you feel it might be time to understand the characters in your own story, and gently begin writing a different chapter around food and your body, then you are very welcome to explore how we might work together.